How Far Down Are They?

How far down within you are the emotions you carry? How far back do you go to the original knowing of this person? Where is the love that was restrained for so long? When does the long ago love find another place to live? Is it only with finding another one to love that we are able to let go of this heart we carry?

In carrying the hearts of a few of the loves in this life I’ve lived, the emotions remain. The parting, the hurt done to the other, does not seem to remain as much as the love once shared. That’s it, that’s all.

No need to possess or touch now. There is the experience that once upon a time there was a connection. Honest connection is what we search for and crave as human beings. Brene Brown said, “Humans beings have an inherent need for connection and belonging.” I know I do.

I carry these emotions way ‘down’, not ever buried, within me.

Times shared, whatever age we were, remain unforgotten. The only pain will be if words are never said. That honest connection begs to be shared.

Those are the regrets of the day that stay with us until the end of ours. There is a French song sung by Edith Piaf back in the 1940s called, “Je ne regrette rien”, “I regret nothing.”

Without intentionally hurting anyone, my hope is I share, honestly, the things I feel important others should know, at least in this lifetime.

How many of us carry these things until our deathbed? Deathbed confessions are filled with words long held, long living on the tip of the tongue.

Life is short; immediacy faces us as this world spirals into increasing chaos. The possibilities are there in these opportunities. Never with mal intent do we spew on the other our critical judgments or ridicule filled blames.

We have carried love, even in the hurt and pain of whoever hurt the other. We love and are loved, at least there was a time when that held true.

I Carry Your Heart

By E.E. Cummings

I carry your heart with me.

I carry it in my heart. I am never without it.

Anywhere I go, you go, my dear.

And, whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling.

I fear not fate for you are my fate, my sweet.

I want no world for beautiful you are my world, my true.

And it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

And whatever a sun will always sing, is you.

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows.

Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

And the sky of the sky of a tree called life

Which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide.

And this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart.

I carry your heart.

I carry it in my heart.

Debra Whittam is the author of “I'm I Going to be Ok?" For any media inquiries or questions please contact: Contact@DebraWhittam.com