Looking Back

“It isn’t until you look back that you see what happened, when.”

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

It’s so interesting that we are born in one generation, learn from a very early age how to be spouses and parents from what we see, what we hear and how we are treated. Then about twenty years later we find ourselves poised to do those very things in an entirely different set of circumstances, a new generation of thought with only our past experiences to guide us.

When we’re asked to become adult, seemingly overnight, by virtue of marriage and having children, how our parents did it is the first thing that comes to mind. This new situation for us begs us to look back to how our parents and caregivers did it. The outdated information we have been hardwired to use in these cases creates the ‘generation gap’ likes of which have never been seen before in today’s society.

How do we move forward as we find ourselves in these increasingly stressful times of insurmountable responsibilities?

We do exactly what was done to us or chose to do things totally different that were our experience as young children. Doing the best we can nothing is more evident than the way men and women treat one another when faced with overwhelming responsibility. We stumble and struggle with life altering decisions for ourselves and our children trying to gain homeostasis whatever way we can.

For me it felt as though getting married and having children was like playing pretend. Yet, it was that way for our parents as well. Is it that each generation does the best they can and hope they improve things, even just a little bit, for their family? I think so.

Every senior citizen I’ve ever spoken with is able to recall their very young years with ease where the last ten to twenty are less available to them. The emotions that come to us, unbidden, when speaking about our past wave over us. The feelings of nostalgia are poignant and powerful. They sometimes move us to action such as making a phone call or making a decision. Recalling more recent times for any of us does not bring about such passion. It is only in looking back.

Let’s talk about it.

Debra Whittam is the author of “I'm I Going to be Ok?" For any media inquiries or questions please contact: Contact@DebraWhittam.com